Jun 27

Female Sexual Enhancement Drugs And Creams – Is Gay Sex Better Than Heterosexual Sex – How To Make Her Orgasm Doggystyle

Posted in Gay Sex

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Jun 27

Naturally Stop Premature And Ejaculation For Free – Sex Change Information – Anal Gay Sex Technique

Posted in Gay Sex

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Jun 26

Lack Of Acceptance Of Gay Men In Sports

Posted in Gay Men

Perhaps a prominent example of recent times involves the use of the word ‘gay’ or indeed the ban of the word, on the back of a personalised NFL jersey, serving as a reminder of an underlying lack of acceptance of the gay man in sporting circles. The ignorant yet all too common perception of the towering or graceful sportsman is certainly non compliant with any uncultured yet common ideas, or discernments surrounding the image of a gay man.

Sports fans and stars alike can be accused of harbouring, or in the very least, allowing the singling out of gay men through the toleration of homophobia to the point where the NFL have been reported to have banned the names of some of their most popular players, Randall Gay, Ben Gay and William Gay on shirts, pendants or flags of any kind. This is of course ludicrous and comes at a time where England’s own Football Premier League has experienced severe cases of homophobic behaviour, including the public abuse of England and Portsmouth star, Sol Campbell, amidst rumours created by the media over his sexual preferences.
Emphasising a clear lack of acceptance of gay men in football, and the expression of what can only be described as ideals and views straight out of the Stone Age; Campbell has suffered a barrage of abuse from the terraces for a number of seasons. However, perhaps providing a chink of light at the end of a very long tunnel, a number of fans have in fact been brought to justice via the courts for the abuse of the Portsmouth full back, although the star is still subject to anti-gay feeling from the terraces today.

In relation, tragic ex-footballer Justin Fashinu who committed suicide 11 years ago preceding severe abuse at the hands of fans and fellow team mates, due to his just reluctance to hide his sexuality, became the victim of blatant embellishment on the part of the media. They had run the headline ‘My gay brother is an outcast’ supposedly a direct quote from his brother and fellow footballer John Fashiniu.

Although times are changing with initiatives such as Stonewall FC, an all gay football squad, making clear progression on a global scale, winning competitions such as the Euro Games, the question of why an all gay football team needs to be formed just to allow gay men to progress in the game, is certainly a valid one.

Rozane writes article on gay and LGBT issues. Among her many written articles is Gay. Rozane works for Gay Man up liftment in London

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Jun 26

Detailed Explanation Of Std Pictures

Posted in STD

In knowing more about the dreaded STDs, one can refer to STD pictures for a visual idea of what it is about. Some symptoms and manifestations of STDs are quite similar to some common diseases. That is why it is important to refer to actual STD pictures to see if some symptoms you are having qualified as STD.

STDs or Sexually Transmitted Disease can infect any age, sex, status or race. It can be transmitted thru unprotected sex with an infected partner or by direct physical contact with one who is afflicted with this disease.

You can find a lot of information about STDs on the internet. You can also refer to medical manuals or transcriptions. Professionals dealing with this disease can provide you with STD pictures for general information in the prevention and treatment of STDs. These pictures could be very graphic and very gruesome. If you are not aware of the actual symptoms and how it really affects your body, a detailed literature explaining the picture could be of great help.

Symptoms of  Syphilis are the appearance of round sores called Chancre around the genital areas and rectum. These sores are round, usually appear in clusters and are very recurrent. This means the rashes may disappear for some time only to reappear on the skin in greater numbers. Aside from the genital areas, the rashes may appear on any part of the body more particularly on the bottom of the feet and hands. These rashes often look like several layers of the skin are missing. Gradually other symptoms of this disease will appear as the condition worsens. Watch out for loosing patches of hair and eyebrows. Syphilis when left untreated to lead to paralysis, mental problems, heart damage, blindness and even death. Pregnant women infected with this disease can pass it on to their unborn babies resulting to the baby born dead or dysfunctional.

Genital warts are caused by a virus; this virus is called “Human Papilloma Virus”. The warts are soft, moist, and pink or flesh colored swellings often appearing in areas like the vulva, vagina, anus, cervix, penis, groin,scrotum and thighs. They can be flat, raised, single or multiple, small or large and sometimes cauliflower shaped. This is spread by having contact with a person with genital warts.  

Herpes similarly show a group of sores or blisters that are painful. These sores are sometime mistaken for insect bites or other skin conditions like allergies. Sometimes these sores cannot be seen by the naked eye. The first outbreak can appear with 2 weeks of transmission. The sores will heal in 2 to 4 weeks then a second crop of sores will reappear. Along with this second batch of rashes, flu like symptoms and swollen glands afflict the patient.

Other types of STDs may not show physical evidence of the infection. Just because you don’t have the physical symptoms, that doesn’t mean you’re not a victim of STD. STD tests don’t only require a visual examination of the suspected infected area, but will also involve gathering of blood, urine and samples of genital discharges. These are the more accurate ways of determining the severity of the infection.

with over 10 years of experience in sexual education, my primary goal is to encourage awareness when it comes to STDs. I encourage everyone to get tested and take control of your health. I encourage you to leave comments or questions about STDs on this blog or contact Simple STD Testing at 888.629.5227 and get answers today.

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Jun 26

9 Straightforward Techniques to Meet Lesbian & Bisexual Girls

Posted in Lesbian

Numerous girls have become relaxed with the reality that they are attracted to other females, but they typically have no concept how to meet other females who really feel the very same attraction. It’s completely understandable. Many of us have been married, have occupied get the job done lives and just haven’t had the time to keep up on our social routines, let on your own socializing with lesbian or bisexual females. Right here are 10 methods you can meet lesbian and bisexual girls, each on the web and in the actual entire world.

 

Start off seeking google for lesbian social web sites, discussion discussion boards and exercise groups. Consider the time to publish messages, get concerned in the groups and join the live chats. If you see a person who piques your interest deliver her a polite personal concept to introduce oneself. Most of all, have fun and get concerned. You’ll share and master expertise in the method.

 

. Lesbian dating sites can be a wonderful put to meet females who are searching for the very same factor you are. Lesbian dating is huge organization on the internet so if you’re critical about wanting to meet a person then there are some things you can do to enormously increase your odds of efficiently meeting the perfect female on-line. Join many of the larger dating websites. Create a profile and contain a latest photograph of your self. Make your self sound intriguing. You can do it – inform them about your hobbies or interests. Preserve it light and enjoyable to invite responses. Don’t just sit there and wait. Browse by way of the profiles and send a handful of friendly messages to let girls know you’re interested in them. Finally, don’t stop too soon. It could consider months to uncover your Ms. Proper. Anything at all worthwhile is value the wait, right? Give it a little time and you may well just be productive.

 

have only been about a several several years but they have swiftly develop into a way to meet interesting individuals the two locally and around the world. Be cautious of game gamers but there are countless numbers of possible pals just waiting to be identified in these networks. Most social networking sites let you to search by geographic location (and sexual orientation) to meet new close friends in your spot, or possibly in spots where you’ll be traveling.

 

can be a great way to get out and socialize with ladies who converse your language. Most larger metropolitan areas and several smaller sized towns have gay and lesbian bars or hangouts in which you can meet lesbian and bisexual gals. If you’re shy discover a good friend to go with you the very first time, then get to know some people so you don’t have to go in alone. Do a very little analysis just before you go. Numerous of these bars and nightclubs have a net internet site wherever you can examine to see when they have women’s night, karaoke, displays, and so on. At times it’s less difficult to exhibit up when there is something of interest to you heading on. My maternal instinct kicks in here so I should inform you to be mindful of alcoholics and druggies but you can meet some good individuals out at the bars and nightclubs.

 

exist in many metropolitan areas. A speedy Google search may uncover a nearby Gay and Lesbian Middle, Gay Straight Alliances at nearby colleges/universities or even a lesbian social group. Search for neighborhood lesbian mailing lists at Yahoo and comparable companies. From time to time these groups have world wide web internet sites or print publications wherever you can introduce on your own. The a lot more you mingle and meet men and women, the a lot more new men and women you will meet as you are introduced to close friends of buddies.

 

Lesbians adore whether or not they are taking part in or viewing. Softball, volleyball and basketball are frequent lesbian interests. So is observing specialist sports activities teams. Numerous communities have women’s skilled sports activities teams this sort of as football or basketball. If you come about to display up you’re bound to discover lesbians equally taking part in and viewing. This is an specifically practical tip if you come about to dwell in a smaller sized town in which there are no openly gay and lesbian pursuits.

 

– indeed churches can be a excellent way to meet lesbian girls. If your neighborhood has a “welcoming congregation,” that generally implies the church welcomes gay and lesbian folks. Metropolitan Neighborhood Churches, Unitarian Universalist Churches and The United Church of Christ amongst other individuals are recognized to be welcoming churches. You’re incredibly very likely to meet lesbian and bisexual females who by no means go to the bars. If you’re hunting for a committed connection this may well not be a undesirable put to meet ideal females.

 

normally incorporate individual advertisements, organizations, welcoming businesses, a calendar of approaching events, concerts and news of curiosity to the regional neighborhood. You can try out a Google search for these publications or appear at regional gay and lesbian bars or corporations. They frequently stock LGBT publications for their buyers.

 

Perhaps one of the most efficient techniques to meet lesbian and bisexual females is . Don’t actually low cost the energy of good friends and networking. If you can only meet 1 or two lesbian or bisexual close friends, that’s adequate to get began. It’s excellent to have buddies anyway, but they can introduce you to their lesbian and bisexual close friends and ahead of you know it you’ll have a bunch of close friends. With these new close friends arrives the possibility to meet even a lot more folks, engage in enjoyable things to do with your new ladies close friends this sort of as hiking, sports activities, card video games or what ever.

 

I have committed a lot of my everyday life to aiding other lesbian, bisexual and bi-curious girls work as a result of their emotions and acquire meaningful relationships. I sincerely hope a thing right here can aid make a distinction in your daily life.

Lesbian<p>Mother<p>Writer<p>Lover

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Jun 25

Lesbian and gays sex position

Posted in Gay Sex

There is so much variety in sex that to find the right turn on for a person is a full time job, also what you like could change because of different moods or age, but one should keep varying to suit the mood and the age.

The basic position is known as the muff dive, in this while you’re going down on her, she will be screaming her head off if, while you’re going down on her, you penetrate her at the same time, just enough to find her hotness. Sixty nine is to go down on each other at the same time.

This is good for equality also, there is also a sort of lazy ’69′, in that it’s exactly the same but on your side, which has the added bonus of you both having an arm free to do whatever you please with.

Doing someone from behind is more versatile than you might assume and can be totally mind-blowing, especially for the lucky girl in the more passive pose because it allows for very deep either vaginal or anal penetration, also you can grab hold of your partners boobs or tits and rub them as you swing to and fro.

If you’re feeling particularly like showing off it’s possible to reach around and stimulate her clitoris at the same time. The faster and caringly you do it the better, and would be more enjoyable for her and for you when she reciprocates.

Moreover, with her in this position and if you’re a competent enough in multi tasking then try to achieve all of the above simultaneously. This is an excellent default position for a quickie, especially if you enjoy a little role play, and want to grab your partner and bend her over on pretty much any object in the vicinity, like the kitchen top, a work desk. Another one is known as, Sit on my face and show me how much you care for me with your tongue.

The next position would be scissors, enabling you to grind against each other as if you were two sets of scissors facing each other with the blades over-lapping. It really is fun and sexy but can be difficult to get right and both come at the same time. Bring in a third person physically and it will be more fun, and will allows for many more permutations of positions.

In this particular example one of you can receive whilst the giver is taken from behind. Now you can introduce sex toys if you feel inclined to spice things up a bit. There are a lot of sexual positions which can be achieved for a more fulfilling and acrobatic type sex life.

Any position is easier and more fun on a soft surface and with enough lube, and most importantly, the thing to remember is to be happy, comfortable and safe. This is how the variety of spice to your life.

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Jun 25

Men Genital Warts

Posted in Bisexual Men

Genital warts in men can be acquired through unprotected sexual activity, oral and anal contact and skin to skin close contact with an infected person.

Research shows that there are around 30 types of HPV infections that lead to genital cancer of the anus and penis of men. High risk people are sexually active gay and bisexual men. Though not all types of HPV causes cancer, some of these lead to genital warts. This is caused by low risked type of HPV strains that do not really cause cancer.

Just like genital warts in women, there is no cure for the infection. When they start to appear, they can be removed in so many ways but the virus remains in the body. It will either clear away at some point or if the body has a weak immune system it will become worse and takes in high risk type of strain. Most men clear up HPV faster compared to women. HPV strain can stay quietly in the body for a long time until such time it creates symptoms.

There are so many ways to treat this kind of disease. It does not eliminate the virus but cure the symptoms that come along with it. A doctor can remove the lesions surgically with use of local or general anesthetic. Another way is also freezing up the warts with nitrogen and having it removed. This is also called cryotherapy. The man may also get a prescription of some topical creams or gel made for genital warts. Treatment usually takes a few weeks until lesions will disappear. Recently there is a vaccine made for genital warts in women and every men are probably hoping it will soon work for men as this is going to be the easiest way since it will only require an injection and will kill the virus.

Among all these, the best way is still abstinence. Not getting into sexual activity is still the best way to stay away from being infected. Either that or being with one sexual partner is one way to make sure of safety. Even when condom is used does not guarantee safety. Once sexually active, it is recommended to be safe and protected since even close genital contact can already transmit the virus.

Learn more the effective way to prevent genital warts.You can find significant information here about male genital warts.

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Jun 25

How to get life insurance when you’re HIV-positive

Posted in HIV

By Michelle Matlock, Life Quotes, Inc.

Although there have been medical advancements that have helped to prolong the lives of HIV patients, finding life insurance coverage for HIV infected individuals continues to be elusive.

According to the most recent statistics by The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, the number of new HIV infections in the U.S. reached 56,300 in 2006. The number of people living with HIV/AIDS was 1.1 million, with 468,000 of those individuals living with AIDS. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reported in 2007, that the largest number of new HIV/AIDS diagnoses for persons aged 40 to 44 accounted for 15 percent of all HIV/AIDs diagnoses in that year.

Respectively, the use of antiretroviral (ARV) Therapy or highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART) such as protease inhibitors with a combination of other HIV drugs have extended the life of those living with HIV by slowing the progression of the disease to full-blown AIDS. A study by the National AIDS Treatment Advocacy Project in New York and the ATHENA National Observational Cohort Study in February 2010 found that the average life expectancy of people living with HIV has been extended from seven years (before 1995) to 24 years — if they follow the proper drug therapy regimen. This includes those who take their medications on a regular basis and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Ryan Pinney, brokerage director and life impaired risk specialist at Pinney Insurance Center Inc. in Roseville, Calif. says following the introduction of drug cocktails that counter the infection— people with HIV can expect to live longer healthier lives.

“If you contracted HIV in the late 70s or early 80s, it was a death sentence. Nowadays, with the addition of antiviral drugs, it is not uncommon for people with HIV to live 20 years without the condition developing into AIDS,” says Pinney.

If you have a strong prognosis at the start of the illness, meaning you have managed to keep your CD4 T-cell count above 500 cells for at least three years, chances are you will have a greater life expectancy. In July 2008, a study conducted by the University of Bordeaux, France found that HIV-positive males whose CD4 count was above 500 cells for an average of three years, had death rates that were identical to those in the general population. Unfortunately, among HIV-positive women, the death rates didn’t balance out even after five years of maintaining a count above 500 cells. In fact, HIV-positive women experienced a 2.4 percent increase in death rates when compared to the general population. More studies are pending that help explain this phenomenon.

Pinney notes that for people who contract the disease at a young age, the improbability of receiving a life insurance policy is higher. However, if you have lived longer with HIV, it might be easier to get a policy.

“The reason for this is because you have a proven track record of maintaining the illness,” says Pinney.

Dr. Ann Hoven, chief medical officer for the Individual Life Division at the Hartford, says that insurers have considered the possibility of covering HIV, but there are still a number of unknowns.

“The basic dilemma is that although the life expectancy for someone with HIV can be over 20 years, those who become newly infected are younger people,” says Hoven. “The life expectancy of a person with HIV is more like 40 to 50 years of age, and most people expect to live to be in their 60′s, 70′s and 80′s.”

She adds that it can be difficult to make assessments of a person’s life expectancy with HIV and set premiums based on the information they receive.

“The data really isn’t there yet,” she says. “There are people who seem to be resistant to infection where their immune system takes care of it, and then there are others that are completely vulnerable to this illness. The results of the studies that have been conducted haven’t provided any definitive data to pull from when it comes to estimating how long an individual can live with this illness. It’s very case by case.”

When it comes to purchasing life insurance, most people who have been diagnosed with HIV will be faced with an automatic decline or enormously high premiums.

“You would have to have a breakthrough to make the numbers work out when trying to write a policy for someone with HIV,” says Hoven. “When you look at the numbers the cost would be so astonomical that no one would buy it [the policy].”

“If you have been diagnosed with HIV, getting life insurance may be tough, but it’s not unheard of,” says Pinney. “It can be accomplished if you receive insurance through a group plan, such as an employer, trade association or union.”

However, if you are HIV-positive and you attempt to get life insurance on your own, most insurance companies will refuse to sell you a policy, this includes companies that offer “simplified issue” life insurance coverage where you would only have to answer a few health questions. Even when applying for a simplified issue policy, you will likely be required to answer questions about HIV/AIDS. Other, more traditional individual life insurers may also ask that you take an HIV test.

“The requirement by insurers of an HIV test varies by state and the face value of the policy,” says Kim McKeown, spokesperson for the Society of Actuaries. “Nonetheless, the underwriting process is used to discern information on one’s medical profile, and if the person is taking antiviral drugs which would be found in the medical record, this might prompt an insurer to ask for an HIV test. Even with the best medication, folks with HIV do have a shortened life expectancy so the best information possible is critical during the underwriting process.”

Mckeown adds that from an insurance company’s perspective, asking a potential policyholder to take an HIV test is really no different than asking someone about his or her family health history, what types of prescriptions they take daily, or if they smoke.

If you are able to get a simplified issue insurance plan, they have a limited face value amount, typically 0,000 to 0,000 on the high-end of the spectrum.

A more viable option is purchasing a “guaranteed issue” life insurance plan. When a policy is considered “guaranteed issue” this is the maximum amount of coverage allowed to an individual without a medical evaluation. Anyone can purchase a guaranteed issue plan since they do not require a medical exam, but they are usually nuts and bolts policies that only provide a death benefit. The death benefit is generally ,000 or less and if you die within the first two years after you buy the policy, your loved ones could receive nothing.

There are also small group plans to consider that are essentially employer-sponsored specialty plans that cover key employees at a company.

Pinney recalls a situation where a group of partners at a firm requested a guaranteed issue group plan that would cover all the senior and junior partners at the firm. One of the individuals was HIV-positive and the group managed to negotiate a policy that provided over a million dollars in life insurance to each person in the group.

While it’s clear that this method can work, Pinney says that because of the stigma attached to people living with HIV, this is primarily the reason why most employees won’t suggest this type of coverage to their employer.

While someone with HIV may be able to get a life insurance policy from an insurance company that specializes in high-risk cases, it’s certain that it will most likely be a costly policy with a graded benefit. For example, a 40-year-old HIV-positive male can get a ,000 whole life policy, but he would pay a high annual premium of ,600.

“There are very few companies, maybe three or four that offer policies for people with HIV,” explains Pinney. “What they amount to is a guaranteed issue whole life policy with a graded death benefit or a benefit that increases gradually with age and eventually levels off during the life of the policy.”

Still, Pinney says that if you die during the first, second or third year of the policy you may only receive your premiums and dividends with interest, other companies may only payout a specified percentage of the benefit amount if you die within that timeframe.

Guaranteed Trust Life Insurance Co. based in Glenview, Ill., was the first insurance company to offer “impaired risk” whole life insurance to HIV-positive individuals. The company ceased selling the policies in 2004.

“One of the biggest problems with pricing an HIV policy is figuring out how to price it without getting beat up,” recalls Pinney. “At the start of offering such a product policyholders were looking at a flat extra of per ,000 in insurance.”

Pinney said that recently he attended a life insurance conference and posed the possibility of an HIV life policy to major life insurers. Unlike HIV, other medical conditions, such as cancer or heart disease have a longer track record of people having these conditions and better statistical data that an insurer can draw from. Even though HIV/AIDS has been around since the early eighties, Pinney notes that the underwriting science hasn’t caught up with medical science yet.

“I don’t see this type of product entering the market again anytime soon,” notes Pinney.

“Part of the problem is there is no mortality data available to create an accurate pricing model. I would be surprised if any insurance company would even remotely consider it for quite awhile.”

“When we solve the societal issues concering HIV and find better ways to treat the illness or even a vaccine, I think that will be when the situation changes,” says Hoven. “I really don’t see this happening in the next five years, but we’re definitely getting closer to it. “

Hoven recommends that if you have been diagnosed with HIV and your employer offers life insurance, it’s best to take advantage of it.

“You wouldn’t go through medical underwriting and you would receive the group-based premium that includes people who have a variety of different medical concerns,” says Hoven. “Also, if you retire, most group plans allow the policy to be converted to a whole life policy.”

From 2004 to 2007, the numbers of HIV/AIDS diagnoses increased among men who have sex with men (MSM).

In that same timeline, the estimated numbers of HIV/AIDS diagnoses increased among male and female adults and adolescents with HIV infection attributed to high-risk heterosexual contact.

Cumulatively, MSM (53 percent) and persons exposed to high–risk heterosexual contact (32 percent) accounted for 85 percent of all HIV/AIDS cases diagnosed in 34 states in 2007.

By gender, 77 percent of adults and adolescents living with AIDS were male. Of the 104,560 female adults and adolescents living with AIDS, 66 percent were exposed through heterosexual contact.

This article was originally published at Life Quotes, Inc.

Life Quotes provides access to comparative quotes for auto, life, health and business insurance quotes so that busy consumers and business owners can save time and money. Life Quotes is dedicated to providing impartial insurance information.

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Jun 24

The Best Way To Date Gay Men In 3 Clear Steps

Posted in Gay Men

All people have aspirations, goals we wish to accomplish. Almost everybody features a checklist of things they wish to accomplish or perhaps have. Many hope and desire to date gay men. You may too, want the same. It’s not too difficult once you know how. When you initially work through the key hurdles, divide it up into easy phases, you’ll think it is easier than you believe to date gay men. In case is one kind of your goals, keep reading to discover a great way you can actually date gay men in mere three steps…

To begin with, you should fake it till you create it. You simply must do that because it doesn’t matter whom you are or what we appear to be, everyone finds a confident man sexy. Whilst you do that 1st step, you need to avoid being too confident since this arrive over as arrogance.

It’s going to be important to do this 1st step completely and properly. If unconditionally you fail here then your confidence will need a critical knock.

The next step you simply must take is protection of both heart and the entire body. A set of things that you can take time in order to avoid with this particular are love the first person you meet and having sexual intercourse around the first date, don’t feel pressured into doing anything you don’t might like to do.

Lastly, your third and last step is try yourself too much at places with openly gay men first. This can be of crucial importance because many people state they have ‘gay-dar’, the ability to pick gay men beyond an audience. but for those who don’t, approaching a person can be extra terrifying once you don’t know when the guy swings like that. In this particular final step the matter which is crucial to positively avoid is chatting up any man that you admire, he will not be gay.

Simply continue with the steps established above carefully. In so doing, you will in all probability be able to date gay men easily. This method spent some time working for many others; it’s planning to probably do the same for you and give you accomplishment furthermore! Simply do you have to do, while avoiding the potential complications noted. Then all that’ll be left money would be to enjoy the strengths of date gay men that may accrue for your requirements in relation to your making success!

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Jun 24

Women’s Sexual Arousal

Posted in Gay Women

Published in 1972, ‘Joy of Sex’ by Alex Comfort MD was revolutionary at the time because it suggested a new openness and a sense of fun in modern sexual relationships. Liberal-minded couples welcomed the idea that it could now be considered normal and ‘uninhibited’ to enjoy sex as a natural part of an adult relationship.

Drawings, as opposed to photographs, portrayed the physical intimacy between two lovers sensitively and attractively. This tasteful presentation of a couple’s sex life avoided any potential concerns that the book might be pornographic in nature, making it attractive to couples and to women in particular.

In fact, Alex Comfort never ran a sex therapy practice and so he was not presenting a heavily researched view of sex. He was offering suggestions, based on his own sex life (with his much younger mistress – not his wife), for how other couples might bring some variety to sex. ‘Joy of Sex’ documents a man’s appreciation of eroticism and the activities that he found pleasurable.

The book is not explicit about the woman’s arousal and my mistake was to assume that the relationship illustrated was based on equality between the sexes. As a woman approaching sex with an expectation for orgasm, I assumed that a woman would only participate in a modern sexual relationship on the basis that she obtained the same sexual pleasure as the man.

A woman can have sex for years without ever experiencing sexual arousal or orgasm. This explains why the average age to come out is 17 years old for gay men but 40 years old for gay women. Of course, a woman’s sexual fantasies might cause her to suspect she is lesbian earlier than this. But lesbian women marry and have children just as successfully as heterosexual women because female orgasm is not required for her either to participate in a sexual relationship or for reproduction.

In general sex manuals can be misleading because they tend to describe the physical activities of intercourse, or masturbation for that matter, without simultaneously discussing what is happening in the person’s head. The implication is that the physical sensations of sex fully occupy the woman’s mind throughout and create by themselves the level of sexual arousal required to experience orgasm. In other words, the assumption is that women respond sexually just as men do.

The fact that women take much longer to become aroused may be acknowledged but it is rarely explained why this should be or what the consequences might be for a sexual relationship. Usually any difficulties with the woman’s orgasm are overlooked or dismissed as insignificant.

“Frigidity – This does not mean failure to enjoy sex when one is dead with fatigue… Nor does it mean failure to get a mind-blowing orgasm on every single occasion. If it does mean these things, every woman is frigid. …” (p198 Joy of Sex 1972)

Perhaps all that is missing from ‘Joy of Sex’ is simply an acknowledgment of how much more difficult it is for a woman to apply her sexual fantasies to sex with a partner. Ironically, although it may suit men to have the visual benefits of covers off and lights on, women may be the opposite. I close my eyes during masturbation to focus on fantasy and during sex I also prefer subdued lighting to blot out the everyday world so that I can fully absorb myself in enjoying my physical arousal.

Jane Thomas author of www.WaysWomenOrgasm.org
WaysWomenOrgasm.org provides information about female sexuality including details of how women orgasm with a partner. The discussion of female sexuality covers women’s orgasm techniques including their use of clitoral stimulation and sexual fantasies.

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